About Lawyers
If you came here looking for lawyer jokes, you
came to the wrong place. While you will find some humour here, this page is dedicated to
what others have said about lawyers over the ages. Although the legal profession is not
the oldest, it certainly has been here a long time and the thoughts of people about
lawyers in 1600 remains relevant today.
I am grateful to The Quotable Lawyer published
by New England Publishing Associates Inc. for many of these quotations.
Select the first letter of the word from the list above to jump to appropriate section
of the glossary. If the term you are looking for starts with a digit or symbol, choose the
'#' link.
- Charles W. Ainey - 1963, Dean of the Pennsylvania Bar
Association
- "The trouble with lawyers is they convince themselves
that their clients are right."
Warren Burger 1971 -
"....lawyers who know how to think but have not
learned how to behave are a menace and a liability not an asset to the administration of
justice...I suggest the necessity for civility is relevant to lawyers because they are the
living exemplars- and thus teachers- every day in every case and in every court; and their
worst conduct will be emulated...more readily than their best."
"A truly qualified advocate--like every genuine
professional--resembles a seamless garment, in the sense that the legal knowledge,
forensic skills, professional ethics, courtroom etiquette and manners are blended in the
total person. There are some lawyers who scoff at the idea that manners and
etiquette form any part of the necessary equipment of the courtroom advocate. Yet if
one were to undertake a list of the truly great advocates of the past 100 years, I suggest
he would find a common denominator: They were all intensely individualistic but each was a
lawyer for whom courtroom manners were a key weapon in his arsenal. Whether engaged
in the destruction of adverse witnesses or undermining damaging evidence or in the final
argument, the performance was characterized by coolness, poise, and graphic clarity
without baiting witnesses, opponents or the judge."
"The entire profession - lawyers, judges, law
teachers - has become so mesmerized with the stimulation of the courtroom contest that we
tend to forget that we ought to be healers of conflicts. Doctors, in spite of
astronomical medical costs, still retain a high degree of public confidence because they
are perceived as healers. Should lawyers not be healers? Healers, not
warriors? Healers, not procurers? Healers, not hired guns?" - 1984
F. Lee Bailey - 1978 "We don't go around
making jokes and doing wild things in the courtroom, letting the jury think this is a
game. That doesn't mean you don't look for a little comic relief, especially on the
defense side. It is like the old maxim in a rape case: If you can get laughter, you
won't get a conviction. The two just don't mix."
Frances Bacon 1630 "I hold every man a
debtor to his profession."
- Moses Cromwell -" It is a secret worth knowing that
lawyers rarely go to law themselves."
Confucius:
"I can try a lawsuit as well as other men, but the most important thing is to
prevent lawsuits."
"Litigation merely continues conflict and offends nature; it does not heal."
- John Dean of Watergate fame. "How in God's name
could so many lawyers get involved in something like Watergate."
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- Benjamin Franklin 1744 "Where there's no law
there's no bread."
French Proverb: "If you have a good case, try to compromise: if a bad one,
take it to court."
- Gypsy Curse: "May you have a lawsuit in which
you know you are in the right."
German Proverb: "A lawyer and a wagon wheel must be well greased."
- Adolph Hitler "I shall not rest until every German
sees that it is a shameful thing to be a lawyer." 1889 - 1945
Frank Hogan, 1965 - "Obviously the whole purpose of a police
investigation is frustrated if a suspect is entitled to have a lawyer during preliminary
questioning, for any lawyer worth his fee will tell him to keep his mouth shut."
- Italian Proverb: "A lawsuit is a fruit tree
planted in a lawyer's garden."
- Leon Jaworski - 1974 "When dictators and tyrants seek
to destroy the freedoms of men, their first target is the legal profession and through it
the rule of law."
Jewish Proverb
"From litigation you can never recover your losses."
- Irving Kaufman - American Jurist 1977 "No thoer
profession is subject to the public contempt and derision that sometimes befalls lawyers.
This antagonism is the bitter fruit of public incomprehension of the law itself and
its dynamics. The judge is forced for the most part to reach his audience through
the medium of the press whose reporting of judicial decisions is all too often inaccurate
and superficial."
- Robert Leflar, American jurist - "The law does not
exist just for the lawyers thought there are some of us who seem to think that it does.
The law is for all the people and the lawyers are only its ministers."
Gotthld
Lessing 1772 "Better counsel comes overnight."
Abraham
Lincoln 1860 "A lawyer's advice is his stock in trade."
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- Plato "The lawyer is always in a hurry." 350
B.C.
Proverbs of Unknown Origin: "Sue a beggar and get a louse."
"A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless paid for."
" Lawyers houses are built on the heads of fools."
"A lawyers primer: If you don't have the law, you argue the facts: if you don't have
the facts, argue the law: if you don't have neither the facts nor the law, then you argue
the Constitution."
- Martha Quest - 1952 "In university they don't
tell you that the greater part of the law is learning to tolerate fools."
Edward Ryan - 1875 American jurist. "It is not
the saints of the world who chiefly give the employment to our profession."
- William Shakespeare
"The first thing we do, lets kill all the
lawyers." - 2 King Henry VI 1589 - 1591
Sol Stein -
American Publisher and Writer
"A
lawyer's job is to manipulate the skeletons in other people's closets."
John Silber - American Educator - 1972
" The
lawyers' contribution to the civilizing of humanity is evidenced in the capacity of
lawyers to argue furiously in the courtroom, then sit down as friends over a drink or
dinner. This habit is often interpreted by the layman as a mark of their ultimate
corruption. In my opinion, it is their greatest moral achievement; it is a
characteristic of human tolerance that is most desperately needed at the present
time."
Senca 4 B.C. "It is a slight thing to be good
according to the law."
Spanish Proverb: "A happy death is
better than a lawsuit."
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- Gore Vidal 1983 "Litigation takes the place of
sex at middle age."
- Oscar Wilde 1890 "It is always a silly thing to
give advice, but to give good advice is absolutely fatal."
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Copyright © 1995 by Rodger Linka.
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